Into the ‘ber’ months already! More happenings and information to go with your cuppa…
Online Training: Not sure about the Online training and how to access the training platform? If you need help we are happy to walk you through it. Follow this link: https://lms.allambicare.org.au/lms-signin
Foster Kinship Care Week Picnic: The picnic for the Hunter has been postponed until we can all celebrate together. We are looking at a date mid-end of January 2022. Watch this space.
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Meet Tyson Kennett: Foster Care Recruitment & Assessment Officer - Fostering & Permanency
Favourite Food: Duck curry…no wait, Thai noodles…no wait, Pizza…I want duck red curry noodles on pizza!
To relax I: Play with Mackenzie (daughter) and Jack (dog), go for a skate. Do some cooking, gardening or go out and socialise with friends.
Currently listening to: A Vietnam War podcast.. oh and the best of Queen as Mac is a fan already.
Best thing about my job: Getting to meet and work with the diverse members of our community who put their hands up to help our kids in care. Over the last 5 and half years in my role I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a lot of families and be a small part of their foster care journey, which has been pretty cool
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Self-Compassion for children
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is being kind to yourself even when things don’t happen the way you expect. It’s being aware of your feelings and treating yourself with the same warmth, care and understanding you’d give to someone you care about.
It’s also acknowledging that struggles and challenges are a part of life and that everyone goes through them.
Why is Self-Compassion Good for Children?
Self-compassion helps children deal with failures, mistakes, setbacks and tough times in a healthy way. For example, if your child comes last in a race, they might feel disappointed. But self-compassion helps your child feel OK and handle their disappointment positively. Your child might say to themselves, ‘I feel disappointed, but I’m glad I tried my best’ or ‘I’ll try again next time’.
When children learn to treat themselves with self-compassion, they:
- are happier
- have more confidence and self-esteem
- are more likely to try new things or try again when things don’t work out the first time
- have more resilience, so they can ‘bounce back’ during or after difficult times.
Self-compassion helps children do well at school and develop new skills in areas like sport, music, dance and so on. Children with self-compassion also tend to get along with others and are more likely to help other children.
They’re also less likely to develop mental health problems like depression or anxiety.
Children learn about self-compassion by watching what you do and listen to what you say when things don’t go as planned. By role-modelling self-compassion, you’re helping your child learn that it’s OK to make mistakes, forgive yourself and try to do better next time.
Building Self-Compassion in Children
Self-compassion is something your child needs to learn and practise. Try these three steps to build self-compassion in your child.
Step 1. Pause and notice when your child is angry, frustrated or disappointed because things haven’t gone the way that they wanted and they’re being hard on themselves. For example, your child’s craft hasn’t turned out the way they hoped, or they weren’t chosen for the school choir. Maybe your child feels bad for being mean to a friend. You might hear your child say things like ‘I’m the worst, I’m hopeless’ or ‘I’ll never be able to do it’. Your child might be quiet and look upset.
Step 2. Let your child know that it’s OK to find things hard and that everyone makes mistakes. It’s also OK to feel sad, angry, disappointed or frustrated - but isn’t OK to say mean things about yourself.
For example, you could say, “I’d be frustrated too if I didn’t score a goal but that doesn’t make you a loser.” If your child isn’t invited to a birthday party, remind them that it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. We can’t control other people’s choices, but we can make an extra effort to look after ourselves.
Step 3. Encourage your child to say something kind to themselves. It can help to ask your child what they might say to a friend who made a mistake or who’s going through a tough time.
Here are some options you could suggest to your child:
- ‘I’ve done my best.’
- ‘Everyone finds learning new things hard.’
- ‘I don’t have to be perfect.’
- ‘We all make mistakes sometimes.’
- ‘It’s OK that I can’t do this yet. I’ll try again next time.’
- ‘I’m a good and loveable person.’
Saying kind things to yourself is an important part of self-compassion. Doing things that help your child feel better is important too. For example, cuddles or quiet time with you might help your child when things don’t go well.
When children struggle with Self-Compassion or are very Self-Critical
- Self-criticism is the opposite of self-compassion.
- Self-criticism is judging yourself harshly or saying means things to yourself. Everyone is self-critical sometimes, but if your child is very self-critical, it can increase their stress, affect their mental health and lower their confidence.
- Children who are very self-critical often say very harsh things about themselves. They might also say they can’t think of anything kind to say to themselves, even with your support. If this sounds like your child, it helps to be extra patient and persistent when helping your child learn to be kind to themselves.
- If you’re worried that your child’s self-critical thinking is affecting their mental health, it’s a good idea to seek advice. You can start by making an appointment with your child’s GP. They can refer you to a suitable mental health professional if they think it will help.
Autistic children might find it hard to use self-compassion, particularly if they have difficulty recognising and managing their emotions. You can use everyday interactions, as well as tools like emotion cards and social stories to help your child recognise and manage emotions.
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Salted Caramel Coconut Bliss Balls
Bliss balls are a simple treat that pack a mighty health punch. These pick-me-ups are a simple concoction of whole, raw ingredients blended together and then rolled into a convenient ball that you can bring anywhere and eat any time!
Ingredients
1 packed cup of pitted Medjool dates (fresh dates)
12 cups raw almonds
¼ cup of unsweetened shredded coconut
¼ teaspoon of salt
Method
STEP 1: Add the Medjool dates, almond, shredded coconut and salt to a food processor and pulse until it forms into a sticky dough.
STEP 2: Use your hands to roll into bite-sized balls.
STEP 3: Roll into a plate of shredded coconut if desired.
STEP 4: Refrigerate in an airtight container.
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Key Dates and Events
NOV 2 – 10am - Webinar: Understanding Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
What is it? How is it caused? The effects of FAS-D on a child. How to care for a baby or child with FAS-D.
NOV 3 – 7.30pm - Webinar: Understanding Autism
This webinar will provide an introduction to autism. Its signs, its causes and strategies to deal with common behaviours.
NOV 8 – 7.30pm - Online: Catch up for a cuppa with Carer Support
My Forever Family NSW understands during this time it is important for you to stay connected and to talk about your experiences relating to children and young people in your care.
NOV 9 – 10am - Webinar: Understanding sexualised behaviour
Join us at 10:00am for a brief, but comprehensive look at these often problematic behaviours in children and young people in care.
NOV 12 – 10am - Webinar: If I was you for just one day
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stand in the shoes of a birth parent who has lost their way, or a Caseworker who has to make decisions that affect a child’s life or a foster carer who has to wear several hats all at the one time?
NOV 30 – 10am - Webinar: Christmas Chaos – strategies for all ages
Christmas can bring with it many feelings for everyone in foster families. Join us for a two-hour session where we will work through some practical ways to stay regulated during this often chaotic time of year.
For more information, please contact: http://www.myforeverfamily.org.au/events
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Tuning in to kids
- Learn about supporting children with their emotions
- Connect with other parents and carers also facing stress and uncertainty
Family Support Newcastle invites families to a free 6 session ONLINE parenting course.
Tuesdays 2nd November to 7th December 2021 - 10am to 12pm
If this interests you, please call 4926 3577. Places are strictly limited.
