Laura Martin recently attended the Building Caring Communities Conference in Brisbane. She shares her reflections and insights with us.
I recently had the honour and privilege of attending the International Building Caring Communities Conference in Brisbane. Before attending, I had high hopes of walking away with new strategies and expert insights to enhance my training. But after taking time to reflect - I realised I already have the tools. In fact, we all do.
At the heart of it, building caring communities begins with one caring adult, someone who is present, genuine, and consistent. Someone who simply shows up, day after day.
Throughout the conference, I had the opportunity to hear from a diverse group of researchers, practitioners, and advocates from around the world. They shared their work, their wisdom, and their lived experiences, each showing how they build caring communities through research, practice, and culture.
One of the speakers who resonated most with me was Junlei Li, from Harvard. He reminded us that while it’s essential to be aware of a child’s developmental needs, we must also consider the capacity and development of the adults in their lives. He highlighted that everyday interactions, especially the small, ordinary ones, are the true building blocks of developmental relationships. Junlei said, “The in-between times matter just as much as the big moments.” Whether it’s walking side by side, preparing a meal, or doing homework together, these moments are not just the gaps between events. They are the moments that matter most.
Junlei used the metaphor of weaving to describe how strong developmental relationships are formed. It begins with a single thread - a small moment of connection, like a kind word or a smile. These individual interactions might seem minor, but they mark the beginning of something meaningful. As connections become more regular through conversation, shared tasks, and consistent presence, two threads begin to twine. With time, a third thread - trust, shared understanding, or a common goal - adds strength and resilience. Eventually, these repeated threads form a fully woven fabric: a strong, stable relationship that helps a young person feel seen, safe, and supported.
“Strong relationships aren’t built all at once. They’re woven - thread by thread - through everyday moments that show we care.” - Junlei Li
Another powerful part of the conference came from a panel of individuals with lived experience. One speaker shared that even in times when they didn’t want to talk, they were still watching, still listening. What mattered most, they said, were the adults who kept showing up, who didn’t give up, even when it seemed like they were pushing them away. It was their consistency and presence that made all the difference.
The panel also gave a blunt but important reminder:
“Leave your shit at the door - we can read you like a book.”
That honesty tied in perfectly with Junlei Li’s reflections on what makes a difference in our work. He spoke about the importance of being intentional, of truly showing up with presence and purpose, because young people can always tell when we’re not. He described this as what makes staff “smell real” - a powerful way of saying that authenticity can’t be faked. It’s not about saying the right thing, but about being real, consistent, and emotionally honest in every interaction.
Every speaker brought a different lens to the theme. Some through culture, others through neurodiversity, trauma, or community leadership. But a consistent thread tied their messages together: Be respectful. Be caring. Be genuine. Whether it’s in your workplace, your friendships, or your broader community, it’s the everyday interactions that shape people’s experiences.
Spending time in Brisbane with other Allambi staff also created space for connection outside of our usual work environment. Those small, everyday interactions, conversations over morning coffee, walking to sessions together, reflecting on what we heard, helped strengthen existing relationships and build new ones. These moments have already helped strengthen my relationships with colleagues and influenced the way I engage in everyday interactions, making my approach at work more thoughtful.
I didn’t leave this conference with a toolkit of new techniques; I left with something much more valuable: a renewed belief in the power of being present. Of showing up. Of caring, consistently and intentionally. Because when we do that - really do that… we have the opportunity to build the kind of community we all deserve to experience.
Laura Martin