Allambi Internal Blog

Foster Care September Update

Written by Allambi | Oct 5, 2022 11:58:40 PM

 

Upcoming Training: One Caring Adult 

The basics of understanding and responding to trauma

Date: Wednesday 16th November
Time: 10:00am - 1:00pm
Length: 3 hours of training
Venue: Allambi Care - Charlestown, Ignite Auditorium

Details: 
The training is a blend of Therapeutic Crisis Intervention and Therapeutic Crisis Intervention for Families and is strongly recommended for new Carers and those of you who would like refreshers on responding to children and
young people utilising a trauma informed approach.

The training will have table activities, group discussion and videos to aid learning and understanding. As usual, morning tea and lunch will be provided.

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Congratulations and thank you to the following Carer's on their First Anniversary of caring 

Jeremiah & Natasha Tawalo - 5th October 2022

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Looking for something new to read?

We will be running a series of articles based on the book the ‘Whole Brain Child’ by Dr Dan Sigel. Our amazing Play Therapist, Grahame Williams, suggested the topic so we know it will be good. The articles are an easy read and present strategies that you can use with your child or young person. 

Whole Brain Strategy #1: Connect and Redirect

The first strategy discussed in the Whole Brain Child is Connect and Redirect: Surfing Emotional Waves. The example used in the book is of an upset child coming to the parent shortly after going to bed, and the parent has to choose between redirecting the child or connecting and then redirecting.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. You’re tired or already asleep and in comes your sweet child seemingly wide awake. A couple weeks ago, this happened to us in the middle of the night, and one exasperated parent sent Elise back to bed before hearing what she said which resulted in her stomping out and slamming her door – at midnight. (And you’re left thinking: lovely, now the baby will wake up and we are all awake and tomorrow is going to stink.) It was a good two to three hours before Elise could be calmed back down; take my word for it, sleep deprived parenting is not the best.

So, what would have been a better way to handle this situation? Siegel and Bryson say, “In a moment like this, parents wonder whether their child is really in need or just trying to stall bedtime. Whole-brain parenting doesn’t mean letting yourself be manipulated or reinforcing bad behaviour. On the contrary, by understanding how your child’s brain works, you can create cooperation much more quickly and often with far less drama.” Less drama? Sign me up! They go on to say, “When a child is upset logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs…’connect and redirect’…begins with helping our kids ‘feel felt’ before we try to solve problems or address the situation logically.”

So how do you help your child to “feel felt”? I tried to paraphrase the principles to keep in mind when applying the first strategy: Connect and Redirect below:

Step 1: Connect with the Right Brain (Emotional, Nonverbal, Experiential, Autobiographical)

  • Logic isn’t the primary vehicle for bringing sanity
  • Our child’s feelings are real and important to the child
  • Use nonverbal signs 
  • Physical touch
  • Empathetic facial expressions
  • Nurturing tone of voice
  • Nonjudgmental listening

Step 2: Redirect with the Left Brain (Logical, Linguistic, Literal)

  • Sometimes the emotional waves just need to crash until the storm passes
  • Child may simply need to eat or get some sleep
  • Rules about respect and behaviour still apply
  • Inappropriate behaviour (as defined by your family) remains off-limits even in moments of high emotion
  • Good idea to discuss misbehaviour and its consequences after the child has calmed down (the middle of the night is not a good time)

“The key here,” according to Siegel and Bryson, “is that when your child is drowning in a right brain emotional flood, you’ll do yourself (and your child) a big favour if you connect before you redirect.” I think the other key is that the redirecting is not always immediate. Sometimes the connecting takes time. Elise may need a snack and some one-on-one time before she is ready to discuss what happened. And we have definitely experienced letting the “emotional waves crash until the storm passes.” Mainly, we (Elise’s parents) have to work on keeping our cool and being patient – even in the middle of the night.

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Get ready for our 2022 Christmas Party

Foster Care’s tradition of a Christmas pool party at Valentine Swim Centre is back this year!

The party will be in December with swimming, games, food and a visit from that special person for everyone!

A date will be set soon so get ready to mark your calendars so you don’t miss out.

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Have you used your Parents NSW vouchers?

The vouchers expire on OCTOBER 9 2022 so the holidays present a good chance to use them. Use your vouchers and have some family fun. The 5 x $50 Parents NSW Vouchers can be used for entertainment and recreation,
including cultural institutions, live music, and arts venues, available 7 days a week, excluding public holidays.

Generally, you can use them at movie theatres, live music, family attractions including zoos, museums and amusements. You can use multiple Parents NSW vouchers for the same purchase up to $250 in total.

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My Forever Family Events

OCT 13 – 10am to 12pm | Wyong: Early Intervention Strategies for Escalating Behaviours

Being a carer can bring unique challenges, none greater than when your child is escalating and becoming increasingly violent toward you. This training will teach you both the verbal and non-verbal early intervention strategies to decrease the likelihood that anxious and dysregulated behaviours will escalate.

OCT 18 – 10am to 11am | Online: Tips for understanding the reportable conduct processes for Carers

Reportable conduct is a behaviour undertaken by a carer that goes against the carer code of conduct and places a child at risk of harm.

OCT 25 – 10am to 11am | Online: Relative and Kinship Care

Relative and kinship care provides children and young people with strong family networks including sustained relationships with parents, siblings, and extended family, and maintenance of their culture and identity.

OCT 31 – 10am to 2pm | CESSNOCK: Understanding Attachment - Connecting the dots to guide children in a new way.

This session is an opportunity to connect children’s attachment and trauma histories to their relational, behavioural and emotional safety seeking strategies.

For more information, please contact: http://www.myforeverfamily.org.au/events